Massey Boy Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 cerin...............go and put your head down the toilet and ask mum to flush it What have i done now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Ferguson Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 cerin...............go and put your head down the toilet and ask mum to flush it hang on... I need a tinkle... oops... sorry Cerin.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 there should be some rules about loading trailer like that... some of these owners just don't have a clue... in my opinion B & Q should have refused to load him up - what if it had hit a child (the wheel that is)... or caused an accident... Some of these 'hobby trailers' are made of cheese as well.... I looked at one in Halfords the other day... frankly I wouldn't have put my lunch in it... let alone anything heavy :o guy on the forklift was telling him it was to much, but he went, your well right obout these hobby ones mind, doubt they would take my weight properly, let alone a ton of x like he had Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Ferguson Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I saw a bloke last week... towing a home made trailer... wheels splayed.... it was made of wood by the looks of things.. 2 barrow loads of mud in it... no tailgate.... no number plate.... doing about 50 along the main road Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unkelfergus Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 cheers marky..........send that john deere fan to bed jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massey Boy Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 cheers marky..........send that john deere fan to bed jo Ah that thats old news :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big A Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 you should see some of the trailers that come in to collect stuff after the sales :o a guy the other day was towing what could only be described as a pallet on wheels, and they think these things can carry at least 1 ton Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I saw a bloke last week... towing a home made trailer... wheels splayed.... it was made of wood by the looks of things.. 2 barrow loads of mud in it... no tailgate.... no number plate.... doing about 50 along the main road it gets worse down here in hemmit season, see loads like that with tents bikes ect all piled in few strands of rope to hold it all on, how some make it from london ect like it i will never know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tellarian Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 This from elsewhere.... Life in the Australian Army... Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!! This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload! Sometimes yagotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is. Your loving daughter, Sheila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unkelfergus Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIMON. Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 guy on the forklift was telling him it was to much, but he went, your well right obout these hobby ones mind, doubt they would take my weight properly, let alone a ton of x like he had If you can't take the weight don't come in the gate ;) :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 mr mjb on the mobile today, swearing away merrilly while talking to me, he was trying to fit a new door handle and knocker apparently, sounded more like build a new house, did suggest a call to mr old massey, but that just provoked even more language :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griffithsbros Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 went on the facebook of this girl i know, went on her brothers ond found a certain 51MON Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Got sent this this morning... I swear I never saw it coming..... bit rude but enjoy, you will laugh out loud.... > This got the whole of Sydney laughing. Read it and > you'll see why! Just > imagine sitting in traffic on your way to > work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks heard this on the > FOX FM morning show > in Sydney > > The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. > The game is called > 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at > work and ask if they are married or seriously involved > with someone. If the > contestant answers 'yes', he or she is > then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. > > The person is also asked to divulge the name of their > partner with(phone > number) for verification. If their partner > answers those same =three questions correctly, they both > win the prize. > > The Harbour City dropped to its knees with laughter and is > possibly the > funniest thing you've heard yet. > > Anyway, here's how it all went down: > > DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of > 'Mate > Match'?' > > Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.' > > DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip > to the Gold Coast > if you win. What is your name? First only > please.' > > Contestant: 'Brian.' > > DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?' > > Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.' > > DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? > First only please.' > > Brian: 'Sara.' > > DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?' > > Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.' > > DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?' > > Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.' > > DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you > had sex?' > > Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.' > > DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' > > Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...' > > DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?' > > Brian: 'About 10 minutes.' > > DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would > ever have said that > if a trip wasn't at stake.' > > Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.' > > DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 > o'clock this > =morning? > > Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well....' > > DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?' > > Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is > staying with us for > couple of weeks..' > > DJ: 'Uh huh...' > > Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at > the time.' > DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' > > Brian: 'On the kitchen table.' > > DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than the > previous hundred > times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put > Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her > up. > > You listen to this.' > [ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ] > > DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall > we?' > > (Touch tones.....ringing....) > Clerk: 'Kinkos.' > > DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?' > > Clerk: 'This is she.' > > DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the > air right now and > I've been talking with Brian for a couple of > hours now.' > Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?' > > DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. > Brian knows not to > > Give any..answers away or you'll lose.Sooooooo... Do > you know the rules of > 'Mate Match'?' > > Sarah: 'No.' > > DJ: 'Good!' > > Brian: (laughing) > > Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up > to?' > > Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, > okay? Be completely > honest..' > > DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 > questions, Sarah. If your > answers match Brian's answers, then the > both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on > us. > > Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' > > DJ: 'All right. When did you last have sex, > Sarah?' > > Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian > went to work.' > > DJ: 'What time?' > > Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.' > > DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it > last?' > > > Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.' > > DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is > trying to protect > his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. > You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. > Are you ready?' > Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' > DJ: 'Where did you have it?' > Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them > that did you?' > > Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.' > DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?' > > Sarah: 'Well...' > > DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it? This is it, here it comes..... > > Sarah: 'Up the ar*e.....' > > They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was > going to have a > heart attack , he could not stop laughing.. > > Apparently there was an unusually high call out of the > Sydney Police just > after this conversation , for minor traffic > collisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britainswomble Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 How wooood.........as Jar Jar Binks would say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ма��u$*2k9*kid Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 my mate ran across a wet deckon/pieces of wood layed out for doors and he went on his arse/bum :D it was soooooooo funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deere-est Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 Did they get the holiday, Simon? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke DeWitt Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 That had me laughing pretty good Simon :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FB Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Did they get the holiday, Simon? :D thats what i wanna know! :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich.new holland Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 my friend crashed his car into a tree and told me "it wasnt his fault " well i didnt know trees can jump out infront of you :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denis086 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 well technically it was yesterday but we were sitting in maths and a lad lets a roar out of him and the teacher yells at them whats going on down ther and the lad say the lad next to him poked him with a bit of wire and the teacher asked the lad why he had poked him and he replys "i poked him before he poked me with his yoke" well we nearly felll out of the chairs laughing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhysmassey135 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Quite simply.. i farted in assembly... :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massey Boys Mum Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Quite simply.. i farted in assembly... :D :D That's really funny! What are you like??? .... what happened next - were you sussed out? did you blame another? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhysmassey135 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 That's really funny! What are you like??? .... what happened next - were you sussed out? did you blame another? I always get sussed out, people knew who it was because i couldnt stop laughing :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massey Boys Mum Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I always get sussed out, people knew who it was because i couldnt stop laughing :D You will have to meet my nephew Smellyexhaust - he's not called that for nothing! I think you would have more than Masseys in common by the sound of it!] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.