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What did you see today that made you laugh?


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This was yesterday, on the M25. The motorway passes under a railway bridge and some bright spark has written, in 2' high letters, GIVE PEAS A CHANCE.

thats been there years i'm sure!!!! :D :D :D, sure before it said 'GOURANGA' :-\ :-\, its on the bit near Junction 17 isnt it (between M3 and M1 Clockwise) :-\ :-\

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Were abouts on the M25 is this as I'm gonna be on it a lot more with moving to Essex etc soon?

Just after J16 for the M40, you drop down a hill and under an arched, brick built bridge before four lanes take you up the hill the other side. You'll see this heading clockwise to Essex written in huge white letters on the bridge  ;)

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Just after J16 for the M40, you drop down a hill and under an arched, brick built bridge before four lanes take you up the hill the other side. You'll see this heading clockwise to Essex written in huge white letters on the bridge  ;)

Cheers tris will have proper look at weekend when I'm off and hopefully have chuckle to myself :D;D

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took the oldies out for a drive today, on the way down the the ferry into cornwall, a harley bike went past us, 2 up bloke and his bird, and then on the back a helmet box, but in that head through a hole sporting a set of swimming goggles was a jack russle looking round with out a care in the world, name on the box said biker buster, shes got apic but its not very clear

second, sat in the que on the way back ,her dad decides he wants the loo,not one till we get onto the ferry, had to get a bottle out of the boot and sit in 6 lanes of traffic while he did his business, think the poor bloke next to us cottoned on what was going on, as he did his windows uo and all of them turned away

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We went to watch banger racing this afternoon and hot rods funniest bit was in the end of the day when the banger's chained up together in two's behind each other there was all sorts of smashers and pileups  :D :D :D :D

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chris moyles this morn, before 7ish, i heard them say that nick hewer of the apprentice is into tractors bigtime, dave got it from an interview he had done with somebody?? is this true, do we have a famous member on here we dont know about :D :D

I read that somewhere also - he seems to have quite a good collection of vintage tractors ;)

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My boss's face made me laugh today :D :D :D

He was telling me how tomorrow I have to go to Lincoln to pick up some new Hamm rollers :) He said there is 14 to collect but you'll only get 8 on your trailer ::) I said i'll get 12 :o 10 on the trailer and 2 on my roof-rack :D :D :D :D

I won't tell you what he called me ::)

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Well not today but last week when at new job, the 7530 has just had another beacon fitted but it doesn't work because the computer can't work out what two extra leads are and that another beacon just goes no took a deere fitter 4 hours to work this out :D :D

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The following post on another forum:

No.1) THE MART

If ever a place deserved a documentary it’s the mart.

A place that everyone should visit at least once in their lifetime.I brought my friend from England & his girlfriend to one for the laugh & they said it was one of the most interesting places they had ever seen.

Whether you’re looking to buy stock or just go for a look around, the mart is the place for you. If you’re a woman & you have low self esteem, go to the mart. No matter how you look you’re going to turn heads & that’s only if you stay at the back!!!!

Once you've managed to park your automobile somewhere in among cattle lorries,t ractors,assorted car trailers with bent nails keeping the hitch locked & the odd (yes they're still out there) honda50, the mart takes hold of your senses.

The echo of cattle lowing in the penning area, the woman in the office shouting over the intercom (someone hasn’t explained that she doesn’t have to shout into the microphone) & fellas moving cattle shouting “hup hup mup mon mup gwanâ€

The smell hits you...cattle sweat, calves & shite

But it’s the people that really make the mart what it is.

Lads answering phones with thumbs that are thicker than the phone!!! How they do it I’ll never know. if you have been to a mart & go to the quietest place possible to make a phone call, there invariably seems to be a speaker from the intercom right behind you & in mid conversation you get blasted away with “would a.n. other please report to the office please?†microphones are there for a reason you don’t have to shout into them lady who works in the office!!!!!

Kids going around with cans of coke or lilt(there never seems to any other choice & where else would you get the urge for the “totally tropical tasteâ€anyway???) Smoking alongside the no smoking signs. Various smoking positions can also be observed. The most common one is when the person has one foot on the safety rail on the catwalk & keeps turning around before dropping the *** butt onto the ground below. Occasionally you see the lads who drop the ***,pick it up & light it anyway even after a pen of 15 bullocks have walked by & you can be guaranteed they didn’t walk past without leaving anything behind.

The sales ring

I have yet to work out what influenced what, the sales ring or the small rural towns niteclub dance floor area. If ever 2 places were interconnected its these 2. Auctiooneer/ DJ booth, sales ring /dance floor or older farmers hanging on railings on the look out for a fine young heifer/ older farmers hanging on the railings on the look out for a fine young heifer.

Either way it’s a very technical area. If your ringside you hope against hope that the auctioneer doesn’t spot you itching your nose or waving at someone you know at the other side. Dealers start getting narky with each other over generally the poorer cattle. If you do decide to visit the mart visit the calf ring that’s were things get very heated.

En Vogue

The mart is a place that fashion forgot.

You get strange looks if you’re wearing anything other than a colour that looks like it belongs to a tree or plant (brown, green, olive etc)black is acceptable as is navy & some forms of blue. blueish colours are perfectly acceptable in the form of anoraks or baseball caps. I was told last week that my red rugby shirt was frightening the cattle when i was trying to put the numbers on them.No you muppet they're all hassled in the crush cos you opened the gate behind them & let them out before we were finished!!& anyway cattle are colour blind. that was the jist of my response.

Could be the ideal place for 1 of those fashion makeover shows.

The fella wearing the blue jumper (faded to green) he got for xmas 1976 from his sister & has worn every second week at work ever since it retired from"good wear"at easter 1982 following an accident with a calf who got loose on that good Friday. Those brown jackets that look like they belong in a 2 ronnies sketch are still to be seen.

They should get a few people into the ring for a bit of a fashion show

eg

John is wearing a navy tracksuit bottoms from Michael guineys & his sky blue t shirt was purchased in the local discount store. His outfit is completed by a pair of green dunlop wellies & a stick. Johns belly was sponsored by murphys irish stout & a complete lack of exercise!

& if you think you've seen a display of all kinds of fashion from the last few decades in one place then you'll love the next piece

Haircuts!!!!

Probably the most stand out feature of the clientele. I saw a guy there last week who looked like he was on the run from the Romans or landed with the Vikings, fell asleep & woke up the weekend before last. He even had the slightly confused look which would justify either situation.

For a while I thought the Irish round of "world’s ultimate combovers" was being held there.

diy pudding bowl haircuts are still to be seen there. As are the guys who look like they shaved part of there face 1 day & forgot to finish the job till a few days later.

Mart speak

Now I know this obviously varies throughout the country, but you'll have to bear with me as I’m generally only exposed to west cork marts. So you'll have to do the accent yourself, like

I'll give a few examples & their translations

Greetings

Warra ? - Hello, how are you?

Hah? – Pardon/what

O A – yes/general term when you agree with something

Yes boi - yes

Tis true – yes that’s correct

Kyeesth no - no (Christ no)

De Weather

Tis settled - Its not raining, its not too warm, I’m happy (winter)

Tis fierce dead - Its not raining, its not too warm, I’m happy (summer)

We’d do with a dropeen a moisture for grass like – it hasn’t rained in 9days & people are worried

General comments

Do ou squeeze em ou do? - Do you castrate all your bulls?

Day ushed do dat lon go – they used to do that long ago(pre 1980)

Aye member lon go – I remember long ago (pre1960)

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