britainswomble Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Listening to Jeremy Vine about a fortnight+ ago,lunchtime Radio 2,there was a farmer phoned in to comment on the topic being discussed and the first thing he said when Jeremy asked him what he thought about the subject said " I phoned in mainly to let our neighbours know we've started combining!!" ....classic ! Fortunately where I farmed there was no immediate neighbours to bother me about such trivialities and I only started when it was absolutely fit as I never had a dryer, only low volume airation, and anyway as the old saying goes "If you think your barley's ready go on holiday for a week" although it always took me that much longer to get ready anyway as better crops take longer to ripen.... Eeeee, when I were a lad, we didn't have one of those new fangled moisture meter thingies, but we had a good idea about moisture content though. If you could mark a grain with your fingernail, it definitely wasn't ready. If you bit through it with your front teeth and it was hard enough to deform before your teeth went through it; it was probably about 18% or just fit to combine. If you bit through it and it broke cleanly in half, and your teeth slammed together enough to hurt; then it was probably about 14%. We used to combine at about 18% and put it straight into storage for feed. When we first moved to Uckfield in 1966, we didn't have bulk storage on the farm so we bagged it up in the field and transported it back to the farm for barn storage. (We later had a Brice Baker store put in.) It's a good job we only had a Massey 780 at the time. We used to put the barley through a Bentall hammer mill and mix minerals into it for pig feed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deere-est Posted August 10, 2008 Author Share Posted August 10, 2008 More like What I Heard. . My mate was telling me they turned up at a place to do some ground works. One of the jobs was to fill in a few holes and stuff. The guy who owned the place, very wealthy (picture floppy hair, red cordrois trousers and a nice mustard coloured jacket by the sound of it. .. ) came out to see how they were doing. This was the conversation. .. Toff - "How will you fill in the holes"? Liam - "With that.. . " Pointing to the 3t mini digger on the trailer. Toff - "That's for digging holes isn't it"? Liam - "It's for doing anything you can with, digging, filling, lifting, grading. .. " Toff - "Well it's not what I had in mind, I don't want you using the wrong tool for the job. I want the holes filled in, not more holes dug. Don't you have a machine for filling holes in"? Liam looked to the sky. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIMON. Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 This Website form one off our own :D ;D http://www.malcp.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marshman Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 This Website form one off our own :D ;D http://www.malcp.com/ I like dani,s hilux page :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pj witch Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 the wife getting butted by a norfolk sheep :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxy Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 at work today at the garage a man came in with a tractor and tanker then turn the tanker on and some slurry came out everywhere :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 me and the missis trying to work out her new ipod nano Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Ferguson Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Making the bf say 'not a lotta people know that' several times over cos he sounds just like Michael Caine He got fed up with me taking the mick after a while though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FB Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 me and the missis trying to work out her new ipod nano simple! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 More what i heard. My mums cousins husband has just brought a suzuki gsxr hayabusa 1300. He hasnt ridden a bike in 30 years and hasnt passed his bike test yet so szuki wont realease the bike untill he does by which time it will be getting on for winter. I just laughed and said do you have a deathwish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIMON. Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 simple! :D Hey Ben you missed out "ton" ;) :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Hey Ben you missed out "ton" ;) :D once i went upstairs with it, i got on fine, just her being to impatent pressing buttons ect, she had somehow de selected the albums songs artists ect from the main menu, swear blind she didnt do it, but only she was trying to work it, plus he work lappy has some lock on her adding certain software, and it seems i tune is one of them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Ferguson Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Speaking to the bf on the mobile and discovering we were both sat in a queue opposite each other at the Critchards Way roundabout in Taunton in our vans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gav836 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Speaking to the bf on the mobile and discovering we were both sat in a queue opposite each other at the Critchards Way roundabout in Taunton in our vans Of course you mean you were pulled over to the side of the queue don't you Mandy :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FB Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Of course you mean you were pulled over to the side of the queue don't you Mandy :D of course she does > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIMON. Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Is " bf " not text talk then : Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Ferguson Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 of course she does > Well I was stationery if that's what you mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Ferguson Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 Is " bf " not text talk then : Not sure Simon... it's what everyone seems to use on here when referring to gfs or bfs... never used the abreviation in a text message myself... so apologies if it is... but I saw it first on ftf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbo Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 More something I was told than what I saw. A colleague has got a new sat nav system and used it this weekend, however, after a while his daughter (3 years old) said "Daddy I don't want to see any of the Road Bears I am frightened of them" It finally dawned that she was listening to the voice of the Sat nav saying "after 300 yards road bears left" :D :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Ferguson Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 More something I was told than what I saw. A colleague has got a new sat nav system and used it this weekend, however, after a while his daughter (3 years old) said "Daddy I don't want to see any of the Road Bears I am frightened of them" It finally dawned that she was listening to the voice of the Sat nav saying "after 300 yards road bears left" :D :D :D I loooove that one... soooooooooooo sweet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow legs Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 some hedges on a local farm, they are cut in a wave patern, you have to see to belive! never seen such a mess in all my life, laughed like mad when i saw them, i couldn't make that much mess if i tried the joke is the farmer has still got him on the flail making a mess every were he goes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi6920 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 some hedges on a local farm, they are cut in a wave patern, you have to see to belive! never seen such a mess in all my life, laughed like mad when i saw them, i couldn't make that much mess if i tried the joke is the farmer has still got him on the flail making a mess every were he goes Any chance of a pic or 2 mike? sounds like a good sight to see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 my mate slipping down a grass back today on his arse, went down at a hell of a speed, didnt hurt himself, but left a huge brwon mark where he took the grass off, and his overalls looked like he had messed himself, turf and mud like a giant bag on his backside, took him ages to get back up to, couldnt help as i was doubled up with laughter at his efforts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4C Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 some hedges on a local farm, they are cut in a wave patern, you have to see to belive! never seen such a mess in all my life, laughed like mad when i saw them, i couldn't make that much mess if i tried the joke is the farmer has still got him on the flail making a mess every were he goes Must be one that he copied off you Sparrowlegs! Only joking maybe not as your mate was full of praise yesterday. (You know, after attacking that hedge that you said you couldn't do and then did.....) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deere-est Posted August 21, 2008 Author Share Posted August 21, 2008 A 7530 with a fully loaded Bunning buried up to it's rims. Had to laugh but it proved a serious point to the bosses, more of that later. Laughed on the other side of my face just now though. . . . I did it aswell!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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