MODELFARMER Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Now everybody know why i dont have a harley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deere-est Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Yeah coz hangy down thingy's can't ride motorbikes. Hwa hwa hwaaaaaa!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MODELFARMER Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Oh grow up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerstarâ„¢ Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Marky's just got a new hearing aid, and it's bloody good, he said he's just heard from his cousin in Australia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihatepoundland Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james f Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 funny bush pics: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BGU Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Still the best Bush one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JC Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I thought it was the Clint Eastwood lookalike at first but Now I see it's the lens caps! :D :D What a fooken nugget he is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil2860 Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 The Maze Only 1 in 10 people can finish it http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/6489/a-maze-ing_new_cursor3.swf . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MODELFARMER Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCC Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 The Maze Only 1 in 10 people can finish it http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/6489/a-maze-ing_new_cursor3.swf . :P :P That's a nice suprise ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihatepoundland Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Bush pics? Bush vids A genious remix of a G Bush speech http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVDgDdGucLg Bush Beatboxing Bush Singing "sunday bloody sunday" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbEtaDkZyT4 Cameron Vs. Blair "changes" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbEtaDkZyT4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 The Maze Only 1 in 10 people can finish it http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/6489/a-maze-ing_new_cursor3.swf . really?? i just finished it the long and short way 2nd attempt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Udimore Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Mark . P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JC Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Funny joke James but a bit too rude for the younger members! :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nashmach Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Funny joke James but a bit too rude for the younger members! :D :D Just as well you pulled it down so :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihatepoundland Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Thankyou for noticing my promot moderationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nashmach Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Thankyou for noticing my promot moderationship Oops - good work ihp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil2860 Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 [move]MAGICAL TREVOR[/move] Don't want to hear an annoying tune? Don't click on the link then http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor+3/ . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james f Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Funny joke James but a bit too rude for the younger members! :D :D Hmmm, maybe I crossed the line there [ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THEBRITFARMER Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Received this email from my Mum, it could apply to any country though as some of them ring true over here :D Proud To Be British Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign! Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION.. 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally... In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deere-est Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. The air bag didn't go off in my one, The first paragraph is actually quite concerning when you think about it isn't it? SOme funny factoids in the list though, didn't realise we were as dumb as the Yanks sometimes!!! :o :o ;D ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THEBRITFARMER Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Old Fred's hospital bed is surrounded by well-wishers, but it doesn't look good. Suddenly, he motions frantically to the pastor for something to write on. The pastor lovingly hands him a pen and a piece of paper, and Fred uses his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then dies. The pastor thinks it best not to look at the note right away, so he places it in his jacket pocket.. At Fred's funeral, as the pastor is finishing his eulogy, he realizes he's wearing the jacket he was wearing when Fred died. "Fred handed me a note just before he died," he says. "I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration in it for us all." Opening the note, he reads aloud, "Move! You're standing on my oxygen hose!" A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful. Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute." She said, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off." There once was a religious young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times." The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice." The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?" The Priest said "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CCF Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 The air bag didn't go off in my one, The first paragraph is actually quite concerning when you think about it isn't it? SOme funny factoids in the list though, didn't realise we were as dumb as the Yanks sometimes!!! :o :o ;D ;D Ahem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil2860 Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise....... BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He froze to the spot; he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster......... BUMP........BUMP...... BUMP........BUMP..... BUMP........BUMP...... The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, But he heard the coffin speed up after him...... BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... He started to sprint, but so did the coffin. BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP. BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP. Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock; he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and lumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase..... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........ BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges.... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad. BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet...... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came. BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it..... Still it came...... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it still it came...... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........ The coffin stopped. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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