Lady Ferguson Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Lots of things really... just having a bad day :'( :'( :'( :'( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FB Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 thanks she has gone to the docter let us know how she gets on / is :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERRY Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 The school report comin home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractorman810 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Lots of things really... just having a bad day :'( :'( :'( :'( share it with us mandy, we can sort it out for you let us know how she gets on / is :) indeed ben hope she gets well again soon mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britainswomble Posted February 21, 2008 Author Share Posted February 21, 2008 Lots of things really... just having a bad day :'( :'( :'( :'( What you need is a really good cup of coffee, (only kids and old people drink tea ) a ***, (If you don't smoke, then I suggest you start) a great big cuddle, * a back rub, an' a twiddle. That should make you feel better. P.S.--------for our American cousins,--------in England the word ***, is slang for a cigarette, not what you would think. Some of us have a *** after we've eaten our tea. (Another issue to confuse you Americans, :D ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerstarâ„¢ Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 What you need is a really good cup of coffee, (only kids and old people drink tea ) a ***, (If you don't smoke, then I suggest you start) a great big cuddle, * a back rub, an' a twiddle. That should make you feel better. P.S.--------for our American cousins,--------in England the word ***, is slang for a cigarette, not what you would think. Some of us have a *** after we've eaten our tea. (Another issue to confuse you Americans, :D ) There you go Mandy advice of the day...have a twiddle :D :D Can I ask for an in-depth explanation please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Ferguson Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 What you need is a really good cup of coffee, (only kids and old people drink tea ) a ***, (If you don't smoke, then I suggest you start) a great big cuddle, * a back rub, an' a twiddle. That should make you feel better. P.S.--------for our American cousins,--------in England the word ***, is slang for a cigarette, not what you would think. Some of us have a *** after we've eaten our tea. (Another issue to confuse you Americans, :D ) Thanks for the advice William... I think the big cuddle is the bit I need most though :'( :'( Anyway... enough feeling sorry for myself... got the Barry Potter Fair in Surrey tomorrow and am all packed up a ready to go... not so sad today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luke p Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 mum is in hosptil we so so so so so so so sad :( :( :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerstarâ„¢ Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 She'll be ok Luke, chin up mate, keep smiling Tell her we all wish her well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luke p Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 She'll be ok Luke, chin up mate, keep smiling Tell her we all wish her well thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi6920 Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Seeing a Case MX210 and Claas Qudrant in a ditch knowing a car hit it and there is atleast one person dead, The case had duals and looked like it was on its side, i couldnt realy see Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britainswomble Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 Oh gawd, don't you know nuffin. Twiddles are a comforting procedure carried out to alleviate stress. It has mutual benefits for the twiddler and the "Twiddlee". Twiddles are of absolutely no benefit to baldies who aren't equipped for this mutually pleasurable past time. Twiddles carried out by an experienced twiddler will leave the "Twiddlee" sitting or lying with a glazed vacant look on their face, and occasionally slight uncontrolled drooling may be evident in extreme cases. The procedure is as follows and is somewhat easier to carry out if the "Twiddlee" is seated between your legs at a lower level than yourself and facing away from you. This will prevent drool patches forming on the twiddler should the situation arise. It is also advantageous if the "Twiddlee" has longish soft shiny hair. Listen carefully, for I shall say this only once (To be said with a heavy French accent as in Allo Allo). Grasp a section of the "Twiddlee's" hair approximately 1/4 to a half inch in diameter, (6-12 mm for those of you preferring metric dimensions). Wind the hair between or around your fingers and pull your hand away so the hair slides through your fingers until it drops. Repeat the procedure all over your partners head paying particular attention to the areas around the temples and behind the ears. These areas are particularly sensetive and will quickly pacify even the most ferocious women, turning her into a total Zombie. This procedure can be carried out on fairly short hair, although you might have to modify or develop a different technique. The results are the same. I would suggest a minimum of one quarter of an hour should be sufficient initially. As the "twiddler", you will find the sensation of hair sliding through your fingers to be most pleasurable, and you too may suffer a degree of stupification. Beware of female partners who are easily aroused. This procedure can backfire especially if they are facing you. They may try to distract you by interfering with your person, (Or little man ) although the drooling may come in useful should that happen. Or worse still, they could drag you off to the boudoir for something very unpleasant and somewhat messy in the form of reproductive activity. I accept no responsibility if you don't follow my instructions to the letter, and find yourself in this unpleasant, time consuming and tiring activity. The object of the exercise being to disengage the brain of the "Twiddlee" and not to fire up Fiona's filthy fantasies and her furry flange, or you may end up forfeiting Fridays fancy dress fun night at The Fountain pub. There you go Mandy advice of the day...have a twiddle :D :D Can I ask for an in-depth explanation please? Is that a suitable and understandable explanation of Twiddles (As shown above -----cos I typed it in the wrong place) Aren't I a silly ar*e. [ :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerstarâ„¢ Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 That's ok, I'm still convinced it sounds dodgy Was it a copy and paste jobby or was that explanation in your own words? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britainswomble Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 That's ok, I'm still convinced it sounds dodgy Was it a copy and paste jobby or was that explanation in your own words? Gosh, Luke Powerstar , how could you suggest that I could have copied that from someone elses computer. I can assure you that is all my own work and based on a lifetimes experience of pacifying ferocious and morbidly depressed females. (Mostly by being in my company or reading my posts on here.) The procedure itself isn't at all dodgy,and is very effective, but---------and this is a big but, (No not that sort of Butt) very occasionally as with all wild animals; it can go horribly wrong. A good technique is essential to quickly disable the brain of the female being twiddled, as they have been known to lull the twiddler into a false sense of security and having thoughts still in their heads; have been known to turn nasty and literally tear your clothes off. This situation is more likely to arise if eye contact takes place. What happens next is too sordid to be mentioned on a family forum. :o If you try this procedure I wish you luck, but be warned ----- it can go horribly wrong. Remember to pacify them quickly and empty their heads of all thoughts or you may have to pay the price, and lose time on here. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deere-est Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I'm a Twiddlee and I love it, Traci regulary Twiddles me. It's sends me off in a trance within minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luke p Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 i am going to see my mum today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Ferguson Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Well thanks very much william... I tried it on Mrs F... now look at what a fine mess you have gotten me into Twiddle indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerstarâ„¢ Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Is that a suitable and understandable explanation of Twiddles (As shown above -----cos I typed it in the wrong place) Aren't I a silly ar*e. [ :D :D Well none of that dodgy sentence worked with Mrs F by the looks of it. But seeming as i've never heard of a twiddle, am I correct in saying I can use this technique out clubbing? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BGU Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Watching Eduardo possibly have his football career ended by a stupid tackle!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryMC Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 dont feel to good after well a good night last night :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FB Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Watching Eduardo possibly have his football career ended by a stupid tackle!! was it that bad, had it on the radio as was out but the view i saw on TV at halftime didnt look too bad?? i take it it was one of the nasty fracture/break below the knee like that Coventry player a few years back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BGU Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 was it that bad, had it on the radio as was out but the view i saw on TV at halftime didnt look too bad?? i take it it was one of the nasty fracture/break below the knee like that Coventry player a few years back? Wenger says he may never play again. Gary Lewin has seen a lot of breaks in his time and he looked really ill - said it was the worse he has ever seen!! Not really malicious tackle just late!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britainswomble Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 I'm a Twiddlee and I love it, Traci regulary Twiddles me. It's sends me off in a trance within minutes. Twiddles and back rubs-------------what more could you want. It's difficult to concentrate on anything when you are twiddled. Sensible conversation is difficult, especially when you really drift off into a trance like state. You almost become unaware of sounds and certainly don't absorb what is happening around you. One of my ex wifes friends couldn't even talk when she had twiddles, such is the power of this hypnotic practice. I love having my hair washed by my female hairdresser. It's as well they jam my head into one of those sinks with the cutaway in the front; otherwise I'd end up in a heap on the floor. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britainswomble Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Well thanks very much william... I tried it on Mrs F... now look at what a fine mess you have gotten me into Twiddle indeed The hair I hate most-----not the colour, but the style---------eeeeyuk. You couldn't twiddle that; in fact I can't think of anything to do with it. Imagine sharing a bed with a tumbleweed head like that. None of yer nuzzling up to some soft silky hair there. It would be like having cobwebs around your face. That's a real old rats nest innit. yuk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIMON. Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Wenger says he may never play again. Gary Lewin has seen a lot of breaks in his time and he looked really ill - said it was the worse he has ever seen!! Not really malicious tackle just late!! It was more just unlucky and late timed i think hope he's ok you don't like to see that injury in a game though ;) :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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